My Comforter

I have occasionally begun to share another creative side that I am expressing and that is through my art. Today, I want to share a oil painting that I painted in 2011 that took me at least six months to complete; it is called "My Comforter".

 

The painting process was a learning process not just naturally, but also spiritually. And even to this day the process is still taking place and will continue until the day I die and I will then be in His arms for real.

2011 was the beginning of my journey into art. I had never painted before and I hadn't drawn anything since that one year as a freshman in high school. I piddled and tinkered in crafts when I got the chance, but this was all new to me.

2011 was also the year of coming out of a painful life altering experience; having no idea the depths of pain it had caused at the time and how long it was going to take to get back on my feet. My hopes and dreams had been crushed, again.

Are you at a point in your life where events have totally altered your life? Do you feel at this moment that your hopes and dreams have been crushed? Perhaps again?

There are doors that close on us that we have no control over. . . when we lose a job . . . when we lose a car . . . when we lose a home . . . when we lose a life . . .

There are times when life hits hard and you just don't know what to do . . . sometimes you get hit so many times, in so many different directions that your struck down and just can't get back up . . . you just don't know what to do . . . you don't have any options as you once did . . .

If you have ever been at a place of loss, brokenness, or presently finding yourself there . . . as difficult as it may be and as trivial this may sound . . . think of it as a clean slate. At some point, you have to begin to change your mindset, have hope again.  How many people in life get a fresh, new clean slate in life where you can start from the beginning and do it differently this time.

You jave an opporunity before you to start with a new walk in life . . . a new career . . . a new place to live . . . new transportation . . . new relationships. Not necessarily forgetting the joys and those things from the past, but adding to "whats and whos" that made you who you are today.

How are you going to begin? What will take priority? Until you are in the position, I don't think one really knows.

This was the day of my new beginning. I didn't know it at the time. The day I met My Comforter. I might have known it sooner, but I had so many obstacles in my way: resentment, unforgiveness, woundings, anger, defeat, rejection, hopelessness, loneliness, doubt . . .

At this time, I feel like I am starting my third or fourth restart in life but this time it is different. I have ALWAYS had a back up plan. I have ALWAYS had a career back up plan. This time, I HAVE NOTHING!! . . . well, lets put it this way . . . nothing that I want to do. I could go back into real estate or I could go back into some sort of direct sales. At this time, this is a lifestyle that just doesn't interest me any more. I am not longer motivated by the things of this world. Nothing interests me . . . where has the ambitious, motivational me gone?

I have no desire to get back out there and have someone yank the rug out from under neath me. I have no desire to go back out there and be told one thing and desparingly find out what I have been told is not true. I have no desire to get back out there and be suckered punch by cruel people. Who would?

But there is hope.  There is good news. I am beginning to dream again . . .

At this time in life, all I can do is rest and trust in knowing that my God ultimately has the final say in what happens in my life. Everything is Father filtered. Every disappointment that has ever happened in my life has been for a reason to shape me and mold me into a better person . . . into HIS image is all I desire. HE is the potter and I am the clay.

"Be ye still and know that I am God" and "I am able to do above and beyond anything you can ask or think according to the power that works in you". Almost seems conflicting, doesn't it? But the power is not our power, it's HIS power. Get out of God's way. Get out of the house. Walk, drive if you have to use your last drop of gasoline, just get out. I was led by the Holy Spirit to a little Christian art gallery to paint. HE will take you out of the storm. Just go!

Before I close, I have two more things to share . . .

One of the reasons it took me so long to paint this painting was not to paint the face of Jesus. I painted HIS face in just a few hours. It took me months and months to paint my face. I couldn't figure out why and the Holy Spirit impressed upon me that I knew my Fathers face. I felt so good knowing that I knew my Father's face. I dwelled on that for days. I was so pleased. Then the Holy Spirit impressed upon me why it was so difficult to paint myself. He said, because "you don't see yourself as I see you."  WOW! Nuff said, right? We don't see ourselves as He sees us do we? It's easy to see others as we see through His eyes, but we have obstacles that keep us from seeing us clearly.

Lastly, I have entered a contest that will be ending soon, April 11, 2013. It is the first time for me to enter a contest and I have the opportunity to win up to $3000 in cash prizes that will assist me in purchasing art supplies. I have entered "My Comforter". If you would be so kind to vote for me. I'm currently in 5th.

 

You will need a Pinterest account, but you can set one up as you vote for me; just remember even though you liked my page, after you set up your account, you have to like it again. You will see your name/pic underneath my painting if your vote took. I also send thank you to confirm your vote and show my appreciation if we are twitter or FB friends.

http://pinterest.com/pin/143059725635885132/

You can also follow along on my Facebook page for the results at Daniell Barton Fine Arts.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Daniell-Barton-Fine-Arts/226014164123266?ref=hl

THANK YOU!! And may you embrace your Comforter when you have need of HIM.

Who Am I & Where Have I Been

It has been several months since I have written and some of you may have been wondering where
have I been. I have been going through a personal process and instead of being vocal through words, I have been experiencing with another creative outlet in painting. 

I just came across this writing and thought I would share it with you because it explains at this time who I am and where I have been. This, "Chronically Human" was written by Bob L. Means and I hope you enjoy.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I am chronically human. If the following signs are observed, I am not emotionally disturbed or dying.

1. If you find me stumbling and falling, I may be trying something new -- I am learning.

2. If you find me sad, I may have realized that I have been making the same mistakes again and again -- I am exploring.

3. If you find me frightened, I may be in a new situation -- I am reaching out.

4. If you find me crying, I may have failed -- I am lonely.

5. If you find me very quiet. I may be planning -- I am trying again.

These are life signs of beings of my nature. If prolonged absence of the above indicators is observed, do not perform an autopsy without first providing and opportunity and invitation for life to emerge.


I will return to you my friend with words to share of my experiences of life. In the meantime, you are welcome to see my other creative outlet through my paintings at www.daniellbartonfinearts.com

Season to Be Renewed

“God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands. Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things. And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grasp for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’”  ~ Acts 17:24-28

The idea that our soul’s deepest longing is quenched with God’s presence. Our hearts should quicken for it, and we should wait for it with expectancy. But what about those days, the season where our spirit and heart is longing, but our soul is weak?

We all go through many seasons in a lifetime. Most of us only want to talk about the seasons of highs in ones life; success, joy, prosperity and anything else that will cause us to look positive in the eyes of those that we want to behold.

It is very rare that we want to talk about the lows of life, but "the art of longing and the art of belonging must be experienced in life" by all.

If you are in a season where you know that you should be somewhere else in your longing for the things of God, but just don't have the desire to get there; perhaps this prayer is for you.

Lord, I am painfully conscious more now than I have ever before for the need of further grace and mercy. I am sad and ashamed of my lack of desire for You when I have tasted and I have seen Your goodness; it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. O Lord, the Trinity, I want to taste and see of You as I have before. I long to be filled with longing. I thirst to be made more thirsty. Show me Your glory, so that I may share Your glory and that we will know You more. Begin a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace and mercy to rise and follow You from this dry valley where I have wandered long and far. 

Self portrait with the Father
by Daniell Barton

In closing, I want to encourage you that it is okay to be where you are. God still loves you in the place you are at this time. He also knows the hurts and woundings that have brought you to this point. He knows your heart. He is not far from each one of us. He is doing His best to draw you near with His unconditional love and His unfailing kindness.

God is waiting for you to draw near to Him. God’s arms are big enough for all of us. And He is saving a spot just for you. Draw near today. 

Father, thank You for Your amazing love and Your unfailing kindness that draws me near. I want to draw closer to You and become more like You. Show me the things that are keeping me from drawing near to You today, and help me to remove those obstacles. Bring me closer to You today. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

Chasing After God

“Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man whom You choose and cause to come near , that he may dwell in Your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of Your house, Your holy temple.” Psalm 65:4 (Amplified)

One evening in December I was cruising through resumes on the Internet looking for a worship leader and came across many very well trained and gifted worshipers. I ran across one couple who were not your typical worship leaders. I was drawn to their unique gifts of worship and painting during worship. They appeared to have more of an evangelistic call, so my interest was not so much in worship leading, but their unique ministry.

I looked at their website. Drawn even more I wondered if they were on Facebook. Sure enough, they were! I contacted them to see if we could be friends and just see if I could learn a little bit more about this fascinating couple. Within a day they accepted my friend request and within another twenty four hours I received an email that they felt like the Lord wanted them to come to Shamrock to attend our very first Saturday night service for the year, Saturday Night Life.

January 1st, we received a call that Mark’s uncle in Kentucky passed away and with our oldest son deploying to Iraq within a few weeks we thought it would be a quick trip to accomplish two family heart concerns. I quickly wondered how this would work out with guest arriving the same time we needed to leave town after service. I didn’t worry though, for I had no idea what their intentions were and more than likely they were just passing through back to California.

On January 2, this couple arrived an hour before service was to begin and immediately we thought we had a spiritual connection. The night before I had observed that spiritually there was an aptitude that we were pretty much on the same page for they stated on Facebook they had stopped in Kansas City to go to IHOP and I’m not talking pancakes.

Approximately 35 minutes into our conversation my brain was processing, wishing Pastor Mark could read it. I would stare at him and try funny yet subtle body movements for we had no time to discuss privately. Look at me!!! I want you to see that I like these people. I think we should ask them to stay until we return and they could help our youngest son cover things while we're gone, perhaps they could stay at the church or hotel so I spoke, “I’m wondering if I can go out on a limb” and as quickly as I spoke Pastor Mark responded, “Well I am going to really go out on a limb. I would like for you guys to stay until we return, cover for us and stay in our home. You don’t have to give us an answer now, pray about it and let us know by the time service is over.” I immediately, was astonished and thought, “Oh my, you really did go out on a limb. You just asked total strangers to stay in our home with our son while we are gone!!!! Oh, Lord, I hope my husband (notice no longer pastor but husband) knows what he is doing.” After a few more discussions by 6:45 they had accepted and we were off to church. Needless to say I was spinning, but had peace. It seemed God was moving quickly and I was needing to keep up.

After church, we were in our bedroom packing our suitcases with this new couple watching on. Having to get underwear in your suitcase with total strangers watching was not the easiest thing to do. I didn’t think they were ever going to retire to the guest bedroom so I could pack my unmentionables.

We were gone for ten days and when we returned it was just wonderful! They had honored our wishes as to how we liked things done. Our man guest delivered a wonderful message, our women guest led worship, they continued to walk in our steps, do our routine of nursing home visitations and visiting our dear friends in the community. They were awesome! I do have to admit that I was checking in almost every 4-6 hours when we first left to make sure my "baby" was all right and that they were not doing anything that was not appropriate, but as time went on I was just making a daily check in.

After our arrival back home, the couple expressed wanting to stay for a few more days and we agreed, but they had to stay in the church on the floor for my mom was coming for a visit and she was getting the guest bedroom. We wanted to have an official meeting, but didn’t want it to be immediate so we arranged for it to take place on Monday. The next five days we observed them; we asked our woman guest to lead worship so that we could get a feel for her style, the man guest painted during worship, and all of us continued to seek the Lord until we met Monday.

On Monday, our man guest shared a very thorough, detailed vision for Shamrock with implementing a step by step plan. It was a big vision! It was awesome to hear their heart not only for Shamrock, but to assist us as humble servants; to become co-laborers with us for a common cause. We agreed to table any final decisions until two days later to give us time to pray over what was said; confirm what is and is not of Him, to confirm we are all on the same page and go over a few more administrative dynamics.

On Wednesday, we met and had agreed to move forward as a team.  The couple felt God was calling them here as missionaries to serve and assist us. Together we would fulfill His plan and purpose for Shamrock. At this time, we are believing for God to provide housing for them and to meet their needs as they pioneered alongside us.

Is this not one of the most exciting God things you have heard of?!!?  Well, unfortunately it did not end as well as it began. Within a few months the tables began to turn and they were no longer teachable. They no longer wanted to be submissive to the ministry and authority that was in place and felt that they knew better.

We thought they were to be such a blessing to us and without getting into the nasty of what they began to do to us in this small town. Let's just say we asked them to leave and it got uglier.

We were so disappointed. We so needed help. We were at our ends and at times so exhausted to be "carrying this our self" that we thought they were a blessing sent to us. We had no idea that these people were really tares among the sheep.

You may have seen such doors of opportunity open up to you and considered it a blessing only to find in a few days, weeks, or months that it was not really a blessing. A wrong decision was made. I call it chasing after a "blessing," instead of chasing after God.

Sometimes, we find ourselves grasping for relief that when we see a sign of relief, we take it as a "blessing" to chase after. Instead of chasing after "blessings", we need to keep our eyes laser-focused -- to chase after God. If we chase God, He will chase us with blessings. That is why the Kingdom of God is sometimes called “the upside-down Kingdom”.  Even though all the "spiritual" appearances of good and this situation had the symptoms of "the upside-down Kingdom"; we should have tested this couple so much longer than we did. We should have trusted in Him more than man to see us through.

Haven't we all chased after the wrong thing at one time or another?  It is through these mistakes that I have drawn closer to our God. I have realized I know nothing and I really am dependent upon Him in and for all things.

As David's own journey in 1 Samuel 13, drew him closer to God, David himself realized that he needed to be a man after God's own heart (vs.14). Likewise,  I realized I needed Him even more and as I drew closer to Him, the more I realized that my ideas of what God wanted from me have been shattered. David had one life and two eyes and one heart, just like me, but they were all laser-focused on the heart of his God… my God. Whether we a running from God or working our tail off to please Him, David’s journey will challenge our view of God. I encourage you to read about David's life in the Old Testament.

 

Prayer: Father, forgive me for chasing after the wrong things in life. Forgive me for losing focus. Help me to see that all that I really need is You and that You will take care of the rest. Lord, teach me to dwell in Your courts for I choose to draw near to You. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

Survival Moves

I have had my share of crisis situations over the past years. One catastrophic crisis may cause an immediate disorientation, but for me it was numerous situations over a period of time layered upon layer of crisis. 

Over this period of time, I arrived at a place where I did not recognize where I was nor who I was. These series of events altered where I had been to where I ended up and who I was to now who I had become. I did not recognize anything. Often times, I would hear my husband say to me, "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"  This disorientation has caused me to feel cut off from my past, but from my future as well.

I have lived the past couple of years letting the wind blow me, but the wind was not blowing. I was not able to make a decision nor wanted to make a decision. I was paralyzed. I was shut down, I was depressed. Having not ever been in this place I didn't even know what it was at the time I was there. I just knew it was unfamiliar territory.

At some point, a old familiar character trait would arise from within me knowing that we must take some action. When we did take two actions this past year, they did not end well. So I naturally retreated and shut down for several months.

I just started to surface again, back into familiar territory of real estate towards the end of this year. Is it what we are called to do or want to do? No, but some kind of small step to reduce the feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness was what was needed at the moment.  It is a survival move on our part.

We are no stranger to survival moves. Many times, we have made survival moves within our own strength and not relying on the Lords abilities to work on our behalf, but only on our own. How do I know that this is not the same thing? When the wind hasn't blown in two years and every door has been a door of rejection and this is all that has opened - all you can do is walk through and trust in the Lord that even though none of this makes sense and it is not at all in line with what we think it should be --- we trust in Him. We admit that we are lost and we need direction. Until the direction is given we wait and do only what we know to do.

I encourage you, if you are lost and need direction. You don't have to know your final destination. Just take one tiny step. Do the very best you can with what you have where you are now.

Prayer: Lord, I praise You in the midst of the storm. You are my Survival Guide. I seek Your guidance. Just as Paul prayed, I pray also that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened in order that I may know the hope to which You have called me, the riches of Your glorious inheritance in the saints, and Your incomparably great power for us who believe.  In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen. (Ephesians 1:18,19)

Isolation

In 2012, I had a deep sense of dislocation overwhelming me. I felt disconnected from all that I treasured - God, family, my friends, even myself. This was at the heart of my loneliness, a great feeling of disconnection. I found loneliness to be so paralyzing. It was vague, permeated my entire being and filled me like heavy cement.

This new year, I find myself with newness surrounding me like a smell of  fresh lemons. The smell of lemons is clean and invigorating, but it does have the possibilities of turning sour unless sweetened by the Lord as a refreshing drink.

 

"Isolation"  Art by Sandra A. Moreno

It is in this place where we can turn to the Lord for now we hear His voice only. No one else is there in the place of isolation. It is He and I alone. It is in this time, in this season where I still have not forgotten. I am not completely removed, I stand on the line of disconnection. I look back as it was just yesterday. I stand today and look for hope to the future that I will hear His plans and purposes to come.

 "Again and again the scoff, 'Where is that God of yours? But O my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act! . . . For you are God, my only place of refuge." Psalm 42:10,11; 43:2

My favorite song is, Better Is One Day , " I  have tasted and I've seen come once again to me."  In this song I hear and feel my Father of how pleased He is with me. He is leading me through the desert so that I can taste Him, touch Him, see Him, hear Him in new ways. In this journey of loneliness this is what we will find upon our arrival.

Prayer:  Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for this season that I am in. It is not a popular place and no one desires to visit it. No one except my closest friends will enter to visit me. I thank you Lord, for those who you have placed in my life for such a time as this. Bless them Lord. I  once was anxious for these days to pass, I will not deny, but as I draw closer to You I do not want to return to the places that are so popular; where the populous desires only to serve themselves and to turn all things only for their good. I am a stranger in this land and look for that place to be content within You. That place where I am content only because I am totally meshed within the call, the purpose of my life within Yours. I love you Lord and seek Your face. Lastly, forgive me for my known and unknown sins. Reveal those to me so that You can change me.  Let me walk in Your love and forgiveness. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

To Make A Difference

In the header of my blog I write:

 "I share my strengths and weaknesses from my days which turn into years.

I share from my heart, my spirit with HIS wisdom; never acknowledging that I have arrived, but always pressing towards the mark to be more like HIM.

 

I have not always been able to speak so freely of my days. And often, if not daily, struggle with how much I should say and how I should say it. I use my words cautiously in speaking and in writing. I recognize how powerful words are. Words can destroy. I often do not punctuate correctly or use correct grammar. I write to get a point across. I write to express the emotion. I write to express my strengths and what's even harder to share my weaknesses.

 

As I enter 2013, I desire to be more effective in my writing. Sharing more of my weaknesses than I have ever shared. I recognize in my weakness He is made strong. Along with my devotionals, I plan to share more through a journaling process this year; which presents a struggle from within. How much is to much to share? How vulnerable will or can I be? How can I share where people who have impacted me positively or negatively be portrayed in the best possible light?

 

The latter question, has been my biggest struggle. I have relationships that are positive and negative and with each relationship are learning experiences. I have several experiences over the past few years that I have not shared because the impact of my words will affect those people. I can not share these situations until I know that I have complete healing in these relationships so that nothing bitter may be said about them in my writing.

 

There is such internal energy stirring within -  always on my mind; forever on my heart kind of thing.  I am hopeful that I am more secure that this year I will be able to feel comfortable to release this energy into my writings and art. I feel I must daily release this in some fashion.

As we are pioneers in this journey of ours; there is also a call to be vulnerable. As these are two separate callings, they have similar traits. Both of these callings require us to have our experiences to be observed. When I came across Oswald Chambers quote a few years back, 'If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a multitude of experiences that are not meant for you at all, they are meant to make you useful in His hands.'  I understood this quote and the purpose of my life so much more. Understanding doesn't always make it easier, but does provide a reason and a purpose.

As I share my journal thoughts with you for this next year, you have been fore warned that I will be sharing my weakness, my confusion at times, my hurts and on good days where I feel strengthened by the Lord. Just keep in mind - Life is not always pretty. Whether I made the stink myself or it just happens to me like a pile of manure being dumped on my parade.

Yet, even in the midst of the stink, the message of His Hope, He is the answer,  God is with us . . . and there must be a pony in there somewhere!

But how will people know God is with us and there is hope, like getting that pony, unless we who claim faith in Christ Jesus share that love with them?  That is me! To make a difference in a world that sometimes really stinks.

"The human drama does not show itself on the surface of life;

 it is not played out in the visible world, but in the hearts of men and women."

 ~ Antoine De Saint Exupery